Sligo Loop, And Others

I work with addresses all day at the cable company. I read thousands of street names and humans' names a week, but for the most part they do little to capture my imagination. There are a few exceptions, though. I present my five favorite street names in Northern Virginia, along with a brief description of how my life might be if I lived on them:

1. Bobolink Drive: On Bobolink Drive I'd be either a clown married to a clown or a cold ass bama. I like either scenario. I see myself getting clowned (!) by black kids for wearing bobos either way, too, so I guess my life would be fairly similar on Bobolink Drive.

2. Sligo Loop: I LOVE Sligo Loop! What an awesome street name! On Sligo Loop, my kids would look like Our Gang and I'd be made of goo or something. I also like saying Sligo and would love telling people my address.

3. Real Quiet Court: I'd live a real quiet life here, you bet. Probably Bittën and I would be farmers or other just plain folks. I think I'd end up looking like that dude who played Dan's dad on Roseanne. Everyone'd wear overalls.

4. Dismal Hollow Road: This one's really David Burns' joke, but I can't help mentioning how I'd live out my dismal, hollow life on Dismal Hollow Road.

5. Sunday Silence: This is a real street name; it just doesn't have any sort of drive or road or what-have-you attached. Sunday Silence is probably my favorite of the lot. I imagine I'd live a dramatically different life on Sunday Silence, one which bears little resemblance to the one I live now. It has an almost science fiction quality to me. I picture a Caribbean blue, cloudless sky broken by aluminum trees and silver-eyed children echoing giggles in otherworldly metallic tones. I don't know what about this street name I find so fascinating.

There you have it. Should anyone ever ask, these are my favorite street names in Northern Virginia in December, 2006.